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Healing the Shockwaves of Abortion
 

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Called to Share My Story
Joanne
Alaska, United States

My mom saw that my calendar had not been marked for starting my period.  I was 14.  So she asked me if I thought I might be pregnant.  She took me to the family doctor for a test, which was positive.  The doctor asked me if I was ready to start a family.  I said no.  So he scheduled an abortion.  I was a scared 14 year old who did not understand what I was doing.  I remember seeing feminists on television saying that a fetus is just a blob of cells.  I thought that at some point this blob turned into a human but really didn't understand that my baby was a person.  I later found out that he or she was a person from conception and very much alive and formed at eight weeks gestation. 

When I became a Christian was the point that I realized what had happened, what I had consented to.  I went through years of guilt, shame, and feelings of worthlessness for having allowed my baby to be killed.  My boyfriend is now my husband of 38 years.
 
I experienced healing through a group called Open Arms which had a wonderful Bible study that could be used not only for women but for men and anyone else associated with the abortion process.  I led a few post-abortion groups and did some individual counseling. 

Life then became busy with raising my kids and homeschooling and, just recently, I felt the calling to once again share my story and help others who have been affected by abortion.  I first had to tell my kids.  I just never could find a good time to tell them that horrible news.  So, that was the first step.  They all took it really well and encouraged me to share my story. 

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