I was involved with a woman who was separated from her husband while in the Navy.  I grew up with an alcoholic father and a mother who never hugged me as a child - so I was very confused between sex and love. 

Shamefully, I knew I would never marry the woman who I would encourage to abort my children.  I wanted to be a good father (unlike my drunk father) but just not at that time or with that woman - I had a lot of living to do. I was so selfish, knowing in my heart it was wrong, but telling myself it was legal.  I convinced her to do something she didn't want to do and will forever be sorry to her as well.  She came to me sometime later and simply asked for money to pay for a 2nd abortion - the quicker we took care of it the less we would think about it, I told myself. 

Several years later I ended up in the psychiatric ward of a Naval Hospital.  I got out, re-energized to live out my Christian faith, against which I struggled with various additions - mostly sex but money, gambling, and drinking were also my main ones.  I spent lots of money on counseling, never really addressing the abortions until I told a Christian counselor, who basically said that I was forgiven and to just move on. 

I married and raised three great kids.  I sent them all to Christian schools, not wanting them to make the bad decisions I did.  I went to Forgiven and Set Free and had an experience that really triggered me into figuring out what was causing all the chaos in my life and my continued struggles with bad habits, while continually thinking that some job or location would make everything better.  It would only be a trip to a Bible Camp that focused on deliverance that would finally give me insight into what was haunting me all these years.  It is still a battle that I fight daily, but Jesus has delivered me from a lot of bad habits and anger issues. 

I will be Silent No More, as that which is brought out of the darkness can be healed by God's touch.  I want to spare anyone the pain that I have experienced.