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Testimonies
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A Dark and Lonely Place
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Karen
Michigan,
United States
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My name is Karen Porter, and I am from Warren, MI.
My parents divorced when I was young, and I began looking of love in all the wrong places. I drank and did drugs and, at the age of 20, found myself pregnant. I had been with my boyfriend for almost two years, so when I told him I was pregnant I thought we would start a family. When I traveled to Florida to see him, he told me he had made an appointment to abort the child. I felt betrayed by this person who said he loved me. Everything in me said to get on the next plane and head back home, but instead, to my forever regret, I kept that appointment.
I remember walking, emotionless, through the doors of the abortion clinic. I remember that it seemed to the staff that it was just another day, just another girl, just another abortion. But to me it was traumatizing. I will never forget the fear that swept over me as I lay on that table, and the horrific sound from the procedure. There really are no words for the way that I felt when I left that place, knowing that I had killed my child.
To deaden the pain, I started partying heavily, and the relationship I was in could not withstand the emotional and psychological damage that I carried. One night, alone and hurting, I cried out to the God, pleading that He come and show Himself to me. Somehow, He did, and I knew He was with me. I accepted Him wholeheartedly at age 24. It was the beginning of love and hope in my life.
I wish I could say it was all better then, but I can’t. Even though I married a good, Christian man and had three amazing children, I would at times find myself in a dark and lonely place, wondering if the pain would ever truly stop.
Through Bible studies, a recovery group, and personal counseling, the healing process continued for years. Then, while attending a pro-life event in Dallas, TX, the Lord let me know that it was time, that I was healed, that He had given me a voice, and that He was calling me to use it. Through tears I said, “Yes, Lord, show me where, when, how, and to whom.”
In His faithfulness, He has done just that. As I stand here today with all of you, know that Rev 12:11 is being fulfilled, that we will overcome, by the blood of the Lamb and the word of our testimonies, because we are Silent No More.
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