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Healing the Shockwaves of Abortion
 

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Do You Regret Your Abortion or Your Lost Fatherhood? By filling in the form below you can add your expression of regret to our list. All information remains confidential and is presented anonymously


 
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Irene's 2018 March for Life Testimony
Irene
California, United States

Hello. My name is Irene Zamorano.  I'm from Southern California. You see, I bought the lie that abortion was a quick fix, and I'm here today to tell you that abortion is not a quick fix, but instead, it's a lifetime of consequences.

When I laid down on that gurney in that cold room, the abortionist administered a chemical into my belly. Instantaneously, my daughter started kicking, twisting and punching me. You see, I was 24 weeks pregnant when I decided to end the life of my child. I was confused and felt all alone.

Right after, and I mean right after, a couple of minutes later, after they administered the chemical, they took me to another room where there were several other ladies in there on gurneys on their sides silently crying. They gave me a little cookie, orange juice in a little paper cup, and 30 minutes later, they said I could leave and come back the next day, because you see, when you're that far along, abortion is a multi-day process. Well, I was so horrified at what I experienced, I couldn't go back. I left that abortion clinic, went home, told my mother what I did. She had had absolutely no idea, because nobody knew I was suffering, I was scared, I was confused.

I went to her. I told her what I did. She immediately took me to a hospital to a local labor and delivery department. There, they hooked me up to the monitor, and they said that the heartbeat they heard was healthy. Well, they came back a couple of hours later, and they consulted a specialist, and that specialist said that that chemical was deteriorating my daughter's heart, and there was nothing I can do about it.

They encouraged me to go back to the abortion clinic, because you see, it was easier to take her out piece by piece than it was to have her whole. Well, that was a horrific experience, and I refused to go back to the abortion clinic, so the next day, after seven hours of labor, I gave birth to a beautiful yet lifeless daughter named Lenore. She was absolutely beautiful, just like a newborn baby, the size of my hand. I touched each of her fingers. I kissed and touched her toes. I wrapped her up like a little burrito. I held her, and I looked down on her, and tears were falling from my eyes onto her face, and I said, "I'm sorry. I was scared. I was confused. I didn't know what else to do. I'm sorry."
My family spent some time with her. A couple of hours after, the nurse came in, and it was time for us to say goodbye. So I kissed my daughter, and I said, "Until I see you again. I love you." The nurse walked her out. A few days later, we were left with the daunting task of planning her funeral. A few days later, I had her funeral. I thought I would never talk about it, because you see, I told my extended family that I had a stillborn baby, that something was wrong with it, because I didn't know I would ever say anything about the abortion I had. I thought it was going to be my secret forever.

I decided in 2010 I couldn't take the pain of suffering anymore, so I was honest with my children. I had seven children. I was honest with my seven children, and I had to tell them that the same mother they knew who was overprotective of them, who nurtured them, who fed them, who danced with them was the same mother that ended the life of their sibling, was the same mother that robbed them from ever playing with her, bonding with her, feeding her. I had to tell my now 10-year-old son when he was seven years old that I was the reason why he visits his sister at the cemetery.

You see, abortion is not liberating. It is absolutely humiliating. It is absolutely destructive. It not only kills the innocent life inside you, but it damages the mother. Not just the mother, but the father and the kids and the family.

Well, my daughter forgives me. God forgives me. I forgive myself, and I stand before you today through the grace of God because he has healed me. That is why I am silent no more.

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