I feel it has destroyed my life

I found out I was pregnant and immediately went to my boyfriend. He at the time was calm as this was very unplanned but thought we would be ok. Then a short time afterwards he decided he wanted me to have an abortion. I was totally against the idea but he told me he would leave me if I didn't and I was very confused. I agreed to do so after he kept saying negative remarks and making me feel miserable about myself. I was very unsure what to do. We never discussed this with anyone else.

At the time I chose to get an abortion I really knew nothing about the whole process. The abortion clinic had a counseling session which consisted of a security guard and a nurse telling us now was the time to decide if we wanted our baby or we wanted an abortion. They asked us if we knew about birth control and then led us to the waiting area. We did not get to discuss and alternatives or risks. We were not told what the procedure consisted of or any post abortion effects.

I do not believe there are words to tell how horrifying the experience was.  I was not aware of the pain it would cause me and the fact that really I had no time to think things through. If ever faced with the same situation again I would definitely choose another means.

It affected me the most because I never told anyone else about it. My boyfriend broke up with me a month after the abortion and was too embarrassed to tell anyone else about it. I have suffered from severe depression ever since.

I have tried talking to psychologists and been put on anti-depressant medication. Nothing has worked for me. I have been affected for a year and a half at this point and the end does not seem to be in sight yet.

Rather than change I feel it has destroyed my life. I have lost 37 pounds, cannot hold a full time job and am constantly depressed.