It negatively affected my relationships with children and men

I was 17 and scared. I went to Planned Parenthood, thinking they would help me plan to be a parent. However, they just gave me a list of doctors who performed abortions, and sent me on my way.

Most of it is a blur. I remember going from room to room with a group of about 10 women. We were talked to about contraception and whatever was said about the abortion, I cant really remember. I got there about 1 and left around 6 or 7:00 PM. I remember holding the nurses hand so tight during the abortion. I was afraid it might break. It was painful.

I was relieved at first, then I started drinking alcohol more and more often. I was wanting to get pregnant again (unconsciously).  I wouldnt talk about the abortion. About a year later, I wanted to commit suicide. To this day, my parents dont know.

In college I took a stress class. This class was worth my whole college career. It was my last semester in college. There were 7 people in my class, and we each had to talk about our past, present, and future. When I talked about the abortion, it was the first time I cried about it (7 years later). I came to regret it and accept Jesus forgiveness and healing.

I will never see or hold my baby/child (at least not on Earth). It was traumatic -- I hated myself and didnt want to live. It negatively affected my relationships with children and men. I became very hard of heart, not helping other people. Until Jesus came into my life, I had a hard time accepting love.