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Healing the Shockwaves of Abortion


Do You Regret Your Abortion or Your Lost Fatherhood? By filling in the form below you can add your expression of regret to our list. All information remains confidential and is presented anonymously

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God is So Good!
Arizona, United States

When I was 19, I was working full time and dating a guy who was in college.  The protection we were using failed, and I got pregnant.  Having grown up in a strong Christian home, I was ashamed that I had gotten pregnant.  This combined with the fact that my boyfriend and I decided that a baby didn’t fit into our lives led me to choose abortion. 

My experience at the clinic was really sad.  I remember more about them describing what was going to happen during the procedure than them sharing with me other options or what the after-effects would be to me physically and emotionally. 

Afterward I felt empty and ashamed.  I was depressed for days but I quickly stuffed my emotions and moved on since my parents had no knowledge of what I had done.  My boyfriend and I broke up not long after that.

A year or so later, I was dating a guy I’d met at work.  I got pregnant again.  My boyfriend who was abusive wanted me to have an abortion.  Because of my state of mind at the time, I caved under the pressure and ended up back in the abortion clinic. 

I remember going into the same clinic and wondering if they would remember me and pass judgment.  I couldn’t even look them in the eyes.  I don’t remember much of that appointment.  I just remember leaving again and feeling that same emptiness I’d felt the first time but piggy-backed with twice as much guilt.  I bled so much that afternoon and later.  I learned later that they had miscalculated how far along I was.  I’m lucky that I didn’t hemorrhage. 

I quickly ended my relationship with that boyfriend after the abortion, and I was pretty close to hitting rock bottom.  My parents found out that my boyfriend had been abusive to me, but they had no idea about either abortion.  I remember my mom telling me I needed some counseling and giving me a number to call to get free Christian counsel.  I finally went and my healing began. 

I attended counseling for at least a year, and in that time God healed me.  I recognized my sin and repented of it.  In return, God poured out His grace and mercy to me.  He gave me Romans 8:1 which says, “There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not  after the flesh,  but after  the Spirit.”  From that day on I no longer felt the guilt and shame I had been carrying around. 

Today, I am married with three beautiful daughters, more evidence of God’s grace and mercy. 

I’m still sad about the decisions I made back then, but I’m so thankful that I can share how God’s Glory came from the ashes in my life.  God is So Good!


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