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Healing the Shockwaves of Abortion


Do You Regret Your Abortion or Your Lost Fatherhood? By filling in the form below you can add your expression of regret to our list. All information remains confidential and is presented anonymously

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I have been given the chance to speak out about my abortion and the trauma it caused in my life in order to provide testimony in hopes that others will not travel the same path.




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A Little Bit of Justice
South Carolina, United States

I had an abortion because I was terrified. I wanted an easy way out. My boyfriend told me flat out to have an abortion. His father said I was a "slut" and that the baby wasn't even his son's. My mother said it was my decision, but that she didn't have the money or ability to help me raise a baby. I was 17 and completely alone.

I heard that there was a pill you can take before a certain time to have a forced miscarriage. A forced miscarriage didn't sound so bad, not compared to the term “abortion.” My mom paid for it and drove me there and supported me through the process. I do not blame anyone but myself, but when I caught my mother and my boyfriend together, I just could not face bringing a baby into this messed-up world with my messed up life. I thought I was saving my baby from a life like the one I was experiencing at the time. But I never gave my baby a chance to decide.

I got pregnant again by a different guy two years later, just before going off to my dream college. I loved him and I wanted to keep the baby and try to make things work. He didn't know what he wanted. His mother called me and made me feel like I was ruining his life if I kept the baby. I told her about adoption as an option and she said, "But what if he meets the right girl some day and she finds out he has a baby out there?" His grandmother wanted an abortion; his mother wanted an abortion, which then led him to want an abortion. When I turned to my best friend and told him I was pregnant again, all he said was, "How much do you need?" and gave me $200 to go toward an abortion. I felt backed into a corner and I felt more alone than I ever had.

Again, I was within the time frame to take the pill to cause a miscarriage, but I was further along this time and went into full blown labor. As I was experiencing the pain, I realized the reality of what I was doing. But it was too late. The guilt of that abortion weighed heavy on the baby's father and me. We ended up getting pregnant again due to the guilt of aborting our baby. This time, I chose life. Looking my son in the face and seeing what could have been with his brother or sister that I voluntarily aborted caused the pain to worsen and the guilt to get heavier and heavier.

Until I gave birth to my son, I pushed all memories of my abortions out of my mind to avoid the pain. Now, I am allowing myself to ask for God's mercy for what I have done to my babies. I am allowing myself to grieve and I felt that if I gave my babies names, I could somehow give them a little bit of the voice that I maliciously took from them.

I speak now for my unborn babies, and when I find the perfect names to bring them just a little bit of justice, I will call them by those names. They have voices and though I cannot give them back their rights to life, I will speak for them the best I can.


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