I was sixteen and my father was dying of cancer. My stepmother had told me before that if I ever got "in trouble," she would send me away. I felt like I had no one to turn to even though I considered myself a Christian at the time. I listened to the lies of the world, not knowing that I was carrying my precious daughter.
I don't remember much of the abortion procedure, only that it was very painful. I did not realize the pain I was causing my baby, or the spiritual and emotional pain that I would carry for years to come. I was relieved when the abortion was done, thinking that I had "fixed" my "problem."
Ten years later, I became pregnant with my son. I was twenty-two weeks along and an ultrasound was done. I could see him sucking his thumb. It was at that point that I realized I had murdered my own tiny baby and thrown her away like trash.
Even though I didn't deserve it, God blessed me with the joy of the birth of my son, and nine years later my daughter. God has also blessed me with the precious gift of a grandson.
God puts us in the right place at the right time. I met Sabrina at Compassion Pregnancy Center in Angola. She later told me that when we first met, she could tell that I would benefit from their Precious Grace Bible Study. What a wonderful experience! Even though I had been taught that God forgives, I could never understand how He could forgive me for murdering my tiny baby, God’s precious child. And through all the years, I was never able to understand and accept His forgiveness. I was never able to learn to forgive myself.
I thank God for His faithful servants—the staff at CPC and for my new friends who gave their time and love to conduct the Bible Study. I pray that anyone who has had an abortion, or who has been affected by abortion, will truly learn to accept God's love and forgiveness. Only by doing so are we able to forgive ourselves.
If God can use me to help just one person, or stop one unborn baby from abortion, I willingly submit to His work. Wonderful things can come from tragic situations. I give God the praise and I thank Him for the gift of His Son, Jesus Christ, who died for each and every one of us!