I aborted two of my children. I believed the lie that they weren't lives but "just blobs of tissue." There were two different procedures - the first was done on a Saturday morning with a group - a large group - sort of assembly line. The individual who performed the abortion was subsequently tried and convicted of felony assaults that had occurred during procedures and examinations. Immediately after the first procedure I felt a false sense of relief. I don't know if I have ever felt anything but disdain and anger after the second procedure. It was so violent. I had been sexually assaulted in my home and I felt more victimized by the second abortion procedure than I had during that assault. It was horrific. I was ignorant to what abortion really was.
My church did not talk about or preach the truth of what abortion is. We were raised in ignorance, post-Roe v. Wade and I decided I would learn and share the truth. I feel lied to and misled. I feel sadness for what I have done. I remember the hot tears that ran down my face when I heard Dr. James Dobson speak the truth about partial birth abortion. I was outraged and decided that I would no longer be a victim of the lies that I had been told that resulted in the deaths of my children. I would be victorious in Christ. Our family began counseling to address issues with my oldest child and I continued on with that beautiful woman on my own. A gracious, Godly woman led me to a real relationship with Jesus Christ. She discipled me through her counseling and helped me to a place of healing. While I paid for her time, I now want to give others the gift of healing that I have received. I am bold but merciful in my testimony and remind anyone who hears that there is grace and forgiveness at the foot of The Cross. The tragic bloodshed that resulted in the deaths of my children is covered by the tragic bloodshed of Jesus Chris that redeems us.