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Healing the Shockwaves of Abortion
 

EXPRESS YOUR REGRET

Do You Regret Your Abortion or Your Lost Fatherhood? By filling in the form below you can add your expression of regret to our list. All information remains confidential and is presented anonymously


 
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Chained to Silence
Paula
Minnesota, United States

If you would’ve asked me 20 years ago if I regretted my abortion, my quick answer to you would’ve been NO! I justified my abortion for a long list of reasons, not knowing then, what I know now.

I was 18 years old, a senior in High School, an athlete and a good student. I allowed myself to become involved with people who had a bad influence on me. Unfortunately, I became pregnant by a man that I had no intentions of living my life with. I was faced with making a choice of LIFE or DEATH!

February 19th, 1994 will be a day I never forget…the day I had my abortion and selfishly took my child’s life. I was not ready to be a mother and I thought I would disappoint my family, so I chose to end my child's life.

This was the day that chained me to silence, and began a LONG and PAINFUL road of emotional roller-coasters, self-destruction, alcohol use to numb the emotional pain, shame, guilt, and anger just to mention a few of the “side-effects” of my abortion. The abortion clinic workers never warned me about the certain destruction of Post- Abortive Trauma.

I remember being emotionally numb, stuffing my fears and doubts as far away in my mind as I could, so I could get through the “procedure”.

The workers at the clinic told me: “It’s just a mass of tissue, nothing to worry about” (LIE #1); “This will be a fairly quick procedure, you will feel a little bit of discomfort, but when it’s done, you won’t have to worry about “IT” anymore” (LIE #2); “It’s OK! You’re almost all back to normal now” (LIE #3). A decision made, based all on a woman’s right to choose and masked by a series of LIES! I left the clinic that day with a sense of relief “it” was done, not knowing the pain that lie ahead.

For 13 years I kept my abortion a secret, telling only the father of my baby.  And for 13 years I suffered silently, thinking that I couldn’t be forgiven. I have since discovered that God is bigger than abortion, shame and guilt.

Through healing studies, I have received God's forgiveness and reconciliation. I have found healing through sharing my story and helping others.

The chains of silence have been broken, I’ve forgiven myself, and been able to grieve and love the child I never held…her name is Samantha Joy.          

The Lord has given me my joy back that was taken from me February 19th, 1994! This is why I AM SILENT NO MORE!!!


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