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Healing the Shockwaves of Abortion


Do You Regret Your Abortion or Your Lost Fatherhood? By filling in the form below you can add your expression of regret to our list. All information remains confidential and is presented anonymously

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Moving Past My Shame
Wisconsin, United States

When I was a teenager, I thought abortion was wrong, but I didn’t know why. I met an older, married man, and I soon gave in to the pressure for sex.

When I found out I was pregnant, the father’s response was, “You need to get an abortion.”

I was deeply ashamed. Planned Parenthood staff told me abortion was legal and without examining me, told me I had a tubal pregnancy and I could die. She told me I should make the abortion appointment quickly.

When I was on the table and the doctor started the procedure, I cried and told him it hurt and to stop, that I didn’t want to do this. He spoke the only words he ever said to me: “You should have thought of that before”.

After, all I felt was relief. It was all over. Like an eraser. Now, no one would know what a terrible person I was.

I married the father. I felt like used goods. But soon came the depression,  And the nightmares.  And the fear.  And the suicidal thoughts. I functioned in daily life, but at night, I would look out at the other windows, and wish I was behind any of those windows – instead of mine. I isolated myself.

What was supposed to be an eraser; hadn’t erased anything at all and it was destroying me from the inside.

I believed God could never forgive me, but I was so desperate, I went to church. I found hope that God could forgive me; that He wasn’t sitting up on His throne, with a lightning bolt in His hand, aimed at me. I began to grieve my child. I learned of a Bible study called Forgiven & Set Free.

Once I accepted that God could forgive me, I began to move past my shame. I began to see how He was able to turn that darkness into light. Without God’s mercy and grace, I would not be alive today.

What I once hid in shame, I will expose to the light. I am silent no more.


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