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Healing the Shockwaves of Abortion


Do You Regret Your Abortion or Your Lost Fatherhood? By filling in the form below you can add your expression of regret to our list. All information remains confidential and is presented anonymously

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The Memories and Pain Surfaced and Demanded Attention
Ohio, United States

Over 22 years ago, I was 20 years old living with a very abusive man and our 6-month baby. I was devastated when I found out I was pregnant again. I could barely take care of myself and the baby I had let alone another infant.  I knew I couldn’t stay in that toxic situation and just couldn’t’ see a way past the crippling fear of screwing up another life. I chose to do what we women fight for, I had an abortion.  

I was up all night prior pleading with God to take the child from me so that I wouldn’t have to follow through. But He didn’t so I followed through. I was already so broken and hated myself so much that I convinced myself that it wasn’t a baby, just a blob. I refused any additional pain medicine to give me comfort.  I remember it being very cold and chilling. There was no love or compassion in that room, just the sound of a blender and pain that I’m still able to feel today.  I looked and what I seen haunted me for decades. Besides the occasional triggers that would stiffen me to the core, I wouldn’t allow my mind to go back there. 

Until the day the memories and the pain surfaced and demanded attention. After sharing this pain and regret with trusted friends. I had two different referrals to go to the After Abortion Haven. The Haven offered a weekend retreat where I not only found healing and restoration in God’s own Words, but I received God’s amazing grace which gave me the ability to forgive myself!  I am so grateful to be forgiven and set free and that is why I will be silent no more.  


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