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Healing the Shockwaves of Abortion


Do You Regret Your Abortion or Your Lost Fatherhood? By filling in the form below you can add your expression of regret to our list. All information remains confidential and is presented anonymously

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Your Analytical Skills aren't What they Should be
California, United States

There are three reasons that I am silent no more.  
1) what I have learned from science, 
2) what I have learned from my God, and 
3) my own experiences.

The fact that science says human life begins at conception was really brought home to me when, in 2020, I saw a movie (Unplanned) and a video based on the first ten weeks of human life.  The movie, Unplanned, is based on Abby Johnson who previously worked at Planned Parenthood as a clinic director.  Abby resigned in 2009 after watching the brutality of an abortion on ultrasound.  Her story was a major catalyst for me having the courage to stand tall and take action for babies.  

The video, “The First 10 Weeks of Human Life” was also impactful showing human life beginning at conception.  I learned: 
1. at conception everyone has their own unique DNA.  The 23 chromosomes from your mom and 23 chromosomes from your dad determine your countless traits including your eye color, your hair color, your ethnicity, and whether you’re going to be male or female.  
2. at 22 days, only 3 weeks and 1 day, we’re able to detect a heartbeat.  
3.  at 10 weeks, they can make, the baby can even make a fist and scratch their head.

Seeing the video of the stages of development would have stopped me cold from having the abortion.  I believe if women and men of all ages see the beginning of life and internalize the beauty of human life growing in the womb they won’t be as likely to have sex (get pregnant) and if they do, abortion won’t be an option.  

We are the beautiful creation of our parents, and I believe, also our God which brings us to the second reason why I am silent no more, my God.   Three scriptures had a significant impact on me:
1. My God is against killing.  God says very clearly in the 5th Commandment, “Thou shall not Kill.” Exodus 20:13 NIV
2. “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.” Psalm 139:13, NIV
3. “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations” Jeremiah 1:5, NIV
God is so very patient and full of mercy which brings us to the third reason I am silent no more - my experiences.  

I found out I was pregnant when I went for a regular doctor appointment.  The appointment had nothing to do with female areas.  The doctor said I had to have an x-ray and would need to have a pregnancy test.  My response was “Well, that’s impossible because I’ve always been told that I couldn’t get pregnant.”  Imagine my shock and panic when the doctor said “you’re pregnant.” One of the reasons I panicked was because I wasn’t married to the father of the baby.  But I was married.

My day went from a normal day with a doctor appointment to anxiety.   I immediately drove and walked into an attorney’s office to find out what my rights were.  The attorneys were very supportive, compassionate and helpful.  They assured me I had nothing to worry about regarding the baby, which should have made me resolute to keep the baby.  Unfortunately, I didn’t think that far ahead.  I didn’t know what lie ahead or have a firm position myself before I spoke with others.  When I talked to the father of the baby, he was happy.  He said wow this is pretty cool. I have two sons and I always wanted a daughter.  We had lots of joy for a short time until he said, “I changed my mind.”  “I want you to have an abortion.”  For any of you who have been pregnant, had a wife, or known someone who was pregnant, you know that your emotions are a lot different than they are normally.   Your analytical skills aren’t what they should be, or at least mine weren’t.  I went from a skilled analytical, decision maker, and leader to wanting someone else to make the decision.  Completely out of my character - a basket case.

My boyfriend called me 10 years later at work to ask if I had any children.  No.  It was a short conversation.  I think he was reaching out to make amends because he was in a 12-step program.  I could have handled it better.

I take personal responsibility for my actions but there were influencers.  It is crazy to think that junior and senior high kids, even younger, are being taught about the worst things in sex education and yet they are not being taught the beauty of human life and the beginning of human life.  In September 2020 my daughter (assumed), who I named Elizabeth, was virtually released as a balloon when I went through a program to help me ask God for forgiveness and to forgive myself.

I didn’t always know a baby exists at conception.  That is why the science is so important.  When I had the abortion I didn’t know the science.  It wasn’t taught in junior high or high school, where you could look at the baby and know it is human life, a creation and think of it as a baby and what it actually looks like in those different stages. And in the Bible it talks about God forming us, in the innermost parts of the womb.  Such a beautiful, beautiful creation.  

My desire is for grade school, junior high, high school, college ages and all individuals to see the first 10 weeks of human life video for prevention and to stop abortions.  
If you are considering an abortion, my desire is that you would watch the video “The First 10 Weeks of Human Life.” 


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