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Healing the Shockwaves of Abortion


Do You Regret Your Abortion or Your Lost Fatherhood? By filling in the form below you can add your expression of regret to our list. All information remains confidential and is presented anonymously

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It was amazingly freeing to stand up and admit what I had done, a secret I had held close to my chest for 30 years.




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It is Deep Regret that I Don't Wish Upon Anyone
Florida, United States

I was 23 years old and in college at NMSU in Las Cruces, NM. I was partying and hooking up casually with my baby's father. We were friends so when I first found out I was pregnant, I thought he would support me and we could co-parent even if we weren't together. I was devastated when he told me that I needed to get an abortion. That I would ruin his life by having the baby. I felt worthless and alone, so I made the decision to abort my baby.

 My sister drove me to El Paso, TX to a clinic about 5 miles from the Mexican border to a run-down clinic. The only thing any staff talked to me about was the process. It was only after I signed the paperwork and took the pill that I was taken to a waiting room with a window. And at the window, I saw an old Mexican man about 65 years old holding his Bible and a cross just praying. I still think about him to this day because he was the only who was thinking of my child.

I haven't told anyone aside from my mother and my sister. I couldn't stand to even look at the baby's father without feeling angry and depressed at what I did. He didn't care that I was hurting. Because of my depression and regret, I left college. I met a good man 4 years later and we have been married for 10 years and have two wonderful boys. I still feel regret of the life that I killed. My child would be 14 years old. I learned very quickly after my abortion that it didn't mean that I wasn't a mother anymore, abortion just made me the mother of a dead baby. It's a deep regret that I don't wish upon anyone and I ask God for forgiveness every day.


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