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Healing the Shockwaves of Abortion


Do You Regret Your Abortion or Your Lost Fatherhood? By filling in the form below you can add your expression of regret to our list. All information remains confidential and is presented anonymously

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There are Abortion Aftercare Recovery Programs available
Florida, United States

I had an abortion when I was 39 years old because I was ashamed, embarrassed and didn’t want my relationship with the man I was living with to fail.  He didn’t seem to be interested in having a child and asked me “what are you going to about it?”.  

I called the abortion clinic but they told me I had to wait until I was at least 8 weeks pregnant. That was at least another 6 weeks. I panicked because I knew that if I felt that first flutter, I wouldn’t be able to have the abortion.  I was a divorced/single parent so I knew the first “flutter” from my pregnancy with my son. I didn’t feel it. 

When I entered the abortion clinic and filled out the paperwork, the lady who reviewed it saw my age and said “39 years old...you know what you’re doing.”.  Wrong I didn’t know.  I was just another number.  Herd them in and herd them out.  That’s how I felt.  I don’t remember very much other than knowing I was on the table, with my feet in stirrups, the sound of the vacuum (which I still remember today) and that my baby was in something that was down near my left foot.  I sat in a chair right after the abortion and then, casually, went to lunch with my friend who took me to the clinic.  I was relieved but I treated it as if it was an everyday occurrence.  No big deal.  

I just continued with life.  My relationship with the father ended, I stopped drinking and partying and realized that my 5 years in that relationship with the father were the darkest 5 years of my life.  I just ignored my abortion.  It was just another bad decision among many bad decisions in my relationship.

Right before COVID, I read a book in a Christian-ladies book club that was about a lady who had an abortion.  She named her baby and memorialized her baby.  The band aid was coming off my wound and I just sat and sobbed.  Even then, I didn’t realize how deep the wound was until I decided to volunteer with a pregnancy crisis center.  

I want to share how God worked in my life with my healing. I filled out the application to volunteer at the center. I called my preacher to let him know that the director of the center might call him for a reference.  He then told me that there was a lady in our church who wanted to begin an abortion after care recovery program for woman who had an abortion, would I be interested in talking with her.  Of course, I said.  This was the first time I had ever heard of an abortion aftercare recovery program.  Oh, how God works.  I am now volunteering at the crisis pregnancy center, and I am completing Forgiven and Set Free.  

I have found forgiveness not only from our God, but I have found forgiveness for me.  31 years after my abortion I have found forgiveness and I will be silent no more.


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