I was 17 years old when we made this decision. I felt there was no possible way that I could raise a child. I remember sitting in the abortion clinic, thinking to myself, “This isn't right.” I never said anything to Della. I just sat there saying nothing, feeling shame. I hoped I was doing the right thing, not knowing the horrible regret from this decision.
We went on with our lives and got married, but never talked about it. I tried to forget about it, thinking it would eventually go away. I was wrong. I blamed myself for not standing up for my baby. Inside, I felt shame, and I blamed myself for being a coward. But we never talked about it.
I am not making any excuses for what we did. I totally take blame for this abortion. There are many days of regret for this decision. I have much sorrow and despair.
Later in life I was baptized in the Catholic Church. When I was baptized, the abortion, the loss of our beautiful child who I miss so much, was the one thing that I was ashamed of. But I am so thankful to God for forgiving me for this terrible sin.
Please don’t ever abort your child. Life is so precious. Abortion will change your life forever, and if you have had an abortion please turn to Jesus for his forgiveness and mercy. Rachel’s Vineyard is where Della and I began our healing journey. You can have a peace in your heart knowing someday you will meet your child in Heaven. Again a child is the most precious gift from God. A precious child is the ultimate gift that we all share together in our world. We should always stand for life and not the emptiness of the culture of death through abortion.
If our story can save someone else from having an abortion, that would be so great. Because, to this day, I still wonder what kind of person our child would have been.
That is why we are Silent No More.