I had an abortion because well meaning loved ones either encouraged it – or offered no alternatives, I was ashamed of being pregnant, I feared I would not finish college, and I was terrified of becoming a single parent.
I recall walking down a long hallway, going into a room, climbing up on the table, a man I had never seen before walking in – then excruciating pain. My memory ends at that point and returns three days later when I opened a letter from the clinic stating that all the tissue had successfully been removed. I now know that tissue included the fully formed hands & feet and the once beating heart of my first child. How I wish I had fought for them.
The following year I numbed myself with greatly increased drug and alcohol use which ended when I met the man I planned to spend the rest of my life with. When our first child was conceived – I believed my pain would end, but instead as I felt her move within me and became aware of preborn development – I began my 17 year journey of post abortion trauma which included nightmares, flashbacks, anxiety attacks, & anger outbursts. I couldn’t bond with my four future children nor trust my parenting decisions (after all, look how I had done with my first?) Our marriage was falling apart and I was fast on my way to becoming a single parent.
It's only by the grace of God – that I landed in an after abortion bible study, met my best friend Jesus Christ, worked hard on reviving my marriage and began truly bonding with my children.
I’ve been sharing my story ever since. My favorite venues are PC fundraising events and women's retreats.
I’d love to put a copy of my book Love Will in your hands. You can also visit cindybrunk.com. God bless you and thanks for being here.