My name is Julie Simpson and this is my story. My first sexual experience was at the age of 18 leaving me pregnant with a sexually contracted disease and abandoned by the father. I chose to put my little girl up for adoption for it seemed to be the “right” thing to do. Desperate to be “in love” and to replace my daughter, I married the first man who asked me. That marriage ended in divorce 8 months later with no baby. I decided to set my sights on my singing/acting career, which brought me to the Bay Area and a new playing field to look for love. By the time I was 24, I had, once again, found myself pregnant and abandoned for the second time. I regretted giving up my daughter and did not want to do it again, so I decided to keep this baby. I packed up (again) and moved to Los Angeles to continue my career and become a mother.
Upon arriving in L.A., I was convinced by a friend to go and talk with someone at Planned Parenthood in order to make an ‘informed choice” about this very important decision I thought I had already made. My meeting with Planned Parenthood went on for three grueling hours. After many tears were shed, I finally relinquished myself to the fact that I had come to Los Angeles to pursue a career, not to become a mother and an abortion was the only answer. I reluctantly scheduled my appointment for the following week.
I arrived at Planned Parenthood with a man I had just met at an audition the previous day who insisted upon taking me. Before the procedure, I recall being extremely nervous and scared so they anesthetized me. When I woke up, I cried and profusely thanked the doctor for I thought that my dilemma had been resolved. Little did I know that I would continue to careen down a 10-year path of self-destruction. I continued to pursue my career, yet I buried my pain and tried everything I could to fill the hole left in my heart. My second marriage was the man who took me to have my abortion. It lasted 3 years due to his physical and verbal abuse. This second divorce moved quickly into many affairs, and a need to anesthetize myself with alcohol, and drugs. I suffered from emotional outbursts, fits of rage, paranoia and an inability to love or be loved. My third marriage seemed doomed from the beginning when I miscarried our first child leaving me more depressed and with such a sense of hopelessness, guilt and shame that suicidal thoughts became a regular occurrence. When we got pregnant again, I spent the entire pregnancy anticipating the loss of another child and was unable to bond with my son for the first year of his life. This madness brought numerous psychological diagnoses, a stint in a treatment center and medication to treat all forms of depression.
Then I surrendered my life to Jesus! He came into what was left of a heart that had been bludgeoned with bad choices. I received healing through a healing program (Forgiven and Set Free) and now counsel others. My third marriage (39 years in May) has been restored and I have been delivered from debilitating depression and anti-depressant drugs. God has replaced my aborted child and my miscarried child with two sons and reunited me with the daughter I gave up for adoption. What Satan tried to destroy, God has restored and that’s why I am Silent No More!