Only Decision That I've Regretted
Hi, my name is Quynh-thi. �Three years ago, I made a decision that I will always regret, the only decision that I�ve regretted in my life.� I aborted my son Matthew.� I had just graduated form UCI, and I got pregnant.� I felt so alone and worried, and what was I to do.� My boyfriend wasn�t ready to be his Dad, and I was too scared to do it alone.� I decided to get an abortion because it seemed like my only choice.� I didn�t have a job that would adequately support myself, let alone a child.� So I thought that abortion would be a watchful, successful choice.� Little did I know that I would one day be haunted by that choice.
The abortion provider told me that it was a quick and easy procedure with little side effects � I would be in and out in no time.� What they didn�t tell me is that I would go through such deep depression for the next two and a half years.� They didn�t tell me that I would try to commit suicide twice within a couple of months, that I would be an emotional wreck, or that I would have constant anxiety and panic attacks and migraines that could only be controlled with medicine.� They never told me that I would take a year off � a year and a half off of work, to get professional help in order to get back to what seemed like a normal life.
Before my abortion I was a confident person who was ready to take on the world.� I know what I wanted, and that was to have a family, and that American dream that everybody seeks.� I was happy at that point, and then after the abortion I�d be so depressed.� I worried about everything, even the smallest detail of life.� I no longer looked forward to future events, no longer looked forward to going out with friends.� I became petrified of � at the thought of having any children of my own.� I lost all interest in life and began to pull away from my family and friends.
Fortunately, with the encouragement and support of my wonderful husband Steven, I got help.� I went through a post-abortion recovery class through my church.� With their help I found forgiveness through God; I worked through the issues associated with my abortion.� With their support I am able to stand in front of you today and tell you my story.� Six months ago I could barely talk about it without being hysterical.� But now I can stand in front of you and talk to you.� You may think you won�t have to worry about it once its over and done with.� Just because you leave the clinic does not mean that it�s over; it�s only just begun.� I never thought that it would effect me so deeply, but it did.� It will effect you physically, mentally, and spiritually.� You may also think that that it only effects you, but it also effects those around you, who care for you the most.� It effects everyone: both men and women.� It will destroy your spirit and your will to live. �It did mine.