Yvonne

 

It was about twenty-one years ago that I had an abortion.� I was raped, and I can honestly tell you that I regret my abortion.� The man that raped me was somebody I knew.� A few weeks later, I found out that I was pregnant.� I felt like I wanted to die because I didn�t know what to do.� I didn�t know where to go.� So I called my mom who was living in Los Angeles at the time, and I told her I wanted to come see her.� So she sent me the ticket to come to America.� I decided not to tell my mom the news about my pregnancy.� But my sister figured it out because she saw me throwing up.

 

So one cold morning, my mom escorted me to the room, and told me to get ready.� She screamed many things at me, but she specifically said, �I have talked to many people, and they said there is nothing inside.� I�m taking you to an abortion clinic.�� I cried when the nurse took me away to the operating room.� I didn�t know what to do.� I was in a strange country; I didn�t speak the language, I didn�t know where to turn.� They put me to sleep so I didn�t feel anything.� Two weeks later when I came back to the abortion clinic, the nurse told me that I had had a baby boy.� It was then that I realized that what my mom had said was a lie.� I had killed a real baby.�

 

Living my life with this kind of guilt has not been easy.� I blamed myself one-hundred percent for what happened, even the rape, that one time I considered suicide.� I wish I would have had a choice, I wish I would�ve given my baby up for adoption.� I wish I would�ve given my baby a chance to live.� I was left with no hope, no dreams, no future.� Just September 2003, I was diagnosed with breast cancer.� The type of cancer I have is not related to my genes nor my hormones.� I wonder if the reason that has been done to relate breast cancer to abortion is true in my case.�

 

Years ago, I talked to my mom about this abortion.� She cried, and she said to me, �I thought you forgot about it.�� I can honestly tell you today that is the only thing in my life I would never forget had happened.� Today, I�m sanding here because I know that God has forgiven me, and I�ve been able to forgive myself, and forgive those that hurt me.�

 

Thank you.