A Project of Anglicans for Life and Priests for Life

Michelle, Iowa

I was 18 and a freshman at college when I got the test results.  The nurse told me it was positive.  Without any hesitation, I told her I wanted to schedule an abortion.  She didn't even blink an eye.  There was nothing - no counseling, no cautions, nor any medical information given me about my baby, myself or the possible consequences.  Just 'see you Friday at 8.'

The father was my first and only boyfriend from high school.  Although he had bought me a ring at Christmas, he was not jumping up and down about getting married.  He didn't want to lose me, but he didn't put up any argument when I said I was getting an abortion either.

That was the end of our relationship, and the end of any normality to my world.  When I was growing up, I had never been able to see my life beyond age 18, and here I was..... at 18 and all was dark.  Without even realizing it my world became engulfed in fear.... of going anywhere or doing anything.  I didn't even get the major in college I wanted because I wouldn't take speech.  I couldn't bring myself to stand in front of my peers in the awful state of shame that I couldn't even identify.

Classes were usually a nightmare for me.  I couldn't focus.  Sometimes I couldn't bear the thought of sitting anymore in class, especially the 3 hour studio classes, so I wouldn't go back after break.  My grades suffered.  I had always been an A student, but not anymore. One teacher gave me a D, even though my work did not merit that.  I begged my mother to let me quit school.  She said no.

I suffered for 8 years before a friend gave me a book on anxiety; between that and becoming a Christian I thought my problems should be solved.  But it wasn't until a pastor gave a sermon on abortion on Sanctity of Human Life Sunday, 2001, that I faced the truth.  I had killed my own child, and the world had told me I wasn't supposed to grieve.  What a lie!  So all my grief, despair and anguish manifested itself in anxiety and depression, because "I wasn't supposed to grieve... abortion was legal, and that made it - ok."

Abortion is the biggest lie that has been passed down to this country.  It is the worst holocaust of our time.  It is analogous to Hitler, the only difference being the child is inside the womb instead of outside.  That's just geography.