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Healing the Shockwaves of Abortion


Do You Regret Your Abortion or Your Lost Fatherhood? By filling in the form below you can add your expression of regret to our list. All information remains confidential and is presented anonymously

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Pennsylvania, United States

When I was 12 years old, I found myself pregnant. I wanted to keep it a secret and decided that an abortion was the only way I could achieve that.

I found myself waiting until the very last minute, because in many ways I didn’t want to go through with it but couldn’t figure out any other way. I was actually told if I had waited to come another week that they wouldn’t have been able to perform the abortion. 

It was the worst experience of my life! I could feel the baby being pulled apart and, when I turned my head to the left, I saw what I had done to my innocent precious baby, which was a large pickle size jar full of blood. I couldn’t stop crying for a week. 

I dealt with depression, just walking through life. I remained with my aborted baby’s father, and we eventually married eight years later.  I cried a lot before our wedding and wanted to call it off, but I just continued through with it, because I felt I didn’t deserve anyone better. After our divorce a year and a half later, I started trying to fix my depression. I went to a few different doctors but mainly just dealt with it, because nothing ever seemed to truly fix it. Even though I would always talk about the abortion, I never received my healing from it until I attended Rachel’s Vineyard. 

After years of pain, I went through a healing program and was able to receive God’s forgiveness and forgive myself.  I finally feel free from the shame, and that is why I am silent no more!


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