My abortion took place in the spring of 1971 in New York in a hospital. I was treated like any other patient and felt no pain. The doctor told my husband that our baby was a boy. We have named him. I also had three miscarriages due, I think, to a doctor pushing the IUD after I delivered our son.
God was good and did bless us with a wonderful son. I am sad when I think of my baby being scraped out because of my selfishness of not wanting a family so soon after marriage and the graduate school plans for my husband.
For many years I was depressed and was in counseling. At times, I was emotionally numb and I self-isolated. I was humorless and negative much of the time. I had a tendency of protecting others when there was no need. What was most revealing was my tendency to quit or not finish things. Even today, I have to watch out for that bad habit. Abortion does have long lasting effects on a person’s life.
I was deeply moved when I was a juror for a case of DWI involuntary manslaughter of a 4-year old. I was disgusted by the callousness displayed by the prosecutor and some of my fellow jurors toward life. Being full of my own guilt, I was moved to go to confession which was the first step toward receiving forgiveness and healing.
I worked through Stormie Omartian’s book, The Prayer that Changes Everything, answering chapter questions and writing praises which helped me to be healed. I know that Jesus loves me and every morning I ask Jesus to “take me by the hand this day”.