I was 26 years old. My boyfriend and I had been together for 7 years. We should have been married, but we were not.
I felt pressured to have the abortion. My boyfriend was becoming an alcoholic. I was afraid. If I had to do this over, I would have left and had my baby. I did not have an ultrasound. That is huge for making a decision. I did not realize the extent to which my baby had grown inside me. My parents were going through a messy divorce. I felt like I really did not have anyone to turn to.
I had the abortion and 7 years later I became pregnant again- same boyfriend. I did not want to marry him at this point. The night before I left my boyfriend, I accepted Jesus Christ as my savior. I called my mom and stepdad- they came and got me and my 10-month old baby. My life began. I will always miss my baby. I have been through the "Surrendering the Secret" program and feel that it did help me to heal.
I have volunteered at pregnancy centers and have given this to God. However, the pain will always be there. Always. My baby that is in heaven is Jedeiah Luke. I will see him again. I will tell you that I am silent no more because I want you to know that it was a wrong decision to have an abortion. There are good alternatives. Alternatives that are good and pure and right. Alternatives that will not leave you with a hole in your heart. I am silent no more.