In 1972 I had an abortion in New York, a state where abortion was legal. During the entire experience of the abortion, I was in denial that I was pregnant. The experience was impersonal and I never met the doctor or any of the staff in the hospital. There was a group of women that I was included with and we sat at a table being asked questions such as "Have you used drugs", I found it humiliating and stressful.
I do not remember anything else except lying on the table very afraid. I did not understand the procedures or what was happening. It caused me terrible stress. After the procedure, I shook uncontrollably and was moved to a bed in a large room with all the other woman also on beds. The experience is difficult to describe, it causes me anxiety and sadness 45 years later. The experience to this day causes me sadness, crying, and depression and rumination. Sometimes I have to leave a room when a speaker talks about abortion.
One time I was driving by a group praying the rosary in front of an abortion clinic.
I saw the words coming from one of the men praying the rosary, he said to me as I drove by, "I am sorry". This had such an impact on me because I needed my boyfriend to say he was sorry for pushing me into having an abortion. One time I stopped and told one of the women that I was so sad because I had an abortion years ago. She was so kind and asked me to pray with her. This encouraged me much later to pray in front of the abortion clinic and that is where I met the woman who was leading the group, "Surrendering the Secret" and represented "Silent No More". Thank you God!
My boyfriend finally broke up with me after the abortion. I did not have support from anyone because I kept the secret. I carried the shame and sadness for years until I was invited to a healing program called, "Surrendering the Secret". I experienced healing and forgiveness. I have taken this Bible Study at least three times and I have prayed at the abortion clinic near me. I am chairperson of the Respect for Life Committee and I speak out to help others that suffer the effects of abortion.