I was 21 years old when I was raped. At that time, I was vulnerable and depressed. Also, I was going through other processes that came together with this experience and affected my emotions to the point that it led to an eating disorder that caused me to be

physically weakened. 

Also, I had a lot of anger about what was happening to me. I decided keep silent and ignore the situation because I thought I was guilty of what happened, you can't imagine the consequences that this experience would have and I was very ashamed. 

But, after two months later I found out I was pregnant and everything became complicated for me. In a moment out of desperation, loneliness and misinformation I decided to have an abortion, because I could not face everything that happened. Having a baby seemed like an additional suffering. I felt alone and influenced by the situation and in the end I did not have the strength to defend my baby's life.

During the procedure I felt a lot of pain, fear, loneliness and uncertainty. Was the first time in a gynecologist's office and expected good treatment. But what I received, it was a hostile, cold and hopeless environment. The doctor did not show up, he did not speak to me at no time, I never saw my baby in the ultrasound and before I could regret it the procedure had been completed.

After the abortion I felt guilt and shame, but at the same time relief because I wouldn't have to face a problem. However, he couldn't stop thinking about what he had done and every day I felt God's rejection of me. So, instead of repenting, I decided to ignore what I felt and resign myself to living with what I had done. I thought it would all end there, but an immense sadness submerged me in guilt again and again. This feeling,  it grew on me, but it became stronger when I got married and couldn't get pregnant. So, Instead of talking to God and resolving my conflict, I once again decided to believe that this was consequence of my sin and that I deserved the blame.

But God opened a door for my healing for what I thought was forgotten. Then at the age of 22 I took the Road to Heal Bible Study, I learned about love, grace and mercy of God and my life changed forever. Today I feel totally forgiven and free and I recognize my daughter as a life, that is why today I break the silence that kept me in darkness and I tell you that there is hope in Christ who paid for your freedom.

That's why I will never be silent no more.