Healing the Shockwaves of Abortion

What Happens to Couples When Their Home Becomes an Abortion Clinic?

By: Kevin Burke, LSW


A self described pro choice woman and her husband describe their RU 486 abortion experience. She was not prepared for the excruciating pain and emotional trauma of the procedure:

Her husband got her out of the tub, and into the bed…

It was then, with her husband lying next to her, that Kay says, “I went through the worst experience of my life.”

“After two hours of this,” Kay says, “I felt a rush of blood and a large lemon-sized clot came out. I assume that was the pregnancy. I was horrified. Why hadn’t anyone told me that it would be like this?”

Her husband cleaned the blood off her, cleaned up the towels, changed the sheets, dressed her because she was too weak from the pain. (Lifesite News)

The same bed where this tiny “lemon sized” unborn baby was likely conceived (with great pleasure and joy as the mutual gift of their marital union), is the place where the child is painfully and forcefully expelled from its mother’s womb. Copious amounts of blood cover her and stain the sheets of their marital bed.

The father of the child lies next to his wife during this nightmare. He carefully attends to her and removes the bloody sheets…and we can assume disposes of their very small baby after the deed is done.

What must he have been thinking and feeling as his wife went through this traumatic labor? Might he have felt a sense of shame and guilt that their “choice” led to so much physical and emotional anguish for his wife? Did he feel helpless and powerless as he witnessed what Planned Parenthood said would be a simple process morph into an unforgettable and traumatic nightmare?

It doesn’t really matter what this couples political and moral opinions are about abortion. There are things more powerful than ideology and politics. The intellect can rationalize about lost pregnancies and women’s rights. But the painful truth of the heart and soul will not be denied.

Based on my professional experience, let me offer just one likely scenario for this couple post RU 486:

They have both clearly experienced a traumatic event. The bedroom and bathroom will continue to be triggers of their painful memories and emotions from that experience. Ongoing physical complications are possible as the article revealed. Nightmares, insomnia, anxiety and depression are likely. Sexual relations will be challenging if not impossible. Even after the physical challenges end, they will need to dissociate from their feelings and go through the motions of sexual intimacy.

But there will be powerful flash-backs and feelings being triggered in what should be a place of safety, peace, intimacy and joy…their home. Regardless of ideology, the marital bed will remain a place of death, and an unspoken sense of loss will permeate the bedroom and relationship. The image and memory of that tiny “pregnancy” will rest there between them as they struggle to sleep. Each bath or shower will trigger flashbacks of her excruciatingly painful self-inflicted labor of death.

The unresolved feelings and memories will lead them to drink more, work more…whatever it takes to get away from the pain. The distance will grow between them.

Over time this couple will be unable to meet one another’s needs for emotional and physical intimacy. They will begin to look outside the marriage for support from someone who is not connected to the trauma. Marital infidelity will begin a process of marital dissolution.

See, RU 486 is a very powerful chemical. It didn’t just end the life of their unborn child. The drug traumatized this couple, made their home a place of death, and in time will kill their marriage.

They may never be able to associate any of this to their chemical abortion…pro choice ideology forbids such honesty. But the physical, emotional and relational symptoms will be screaming out for them to acknowledge this loss, to face the truth of their actions…to repent and heal.

The insidious nature of chemical abortion reveals that all the participants in this tragedy are victims. The baby is foremost an innocent victim. The mother and father are victims of our nation’s legally sanctioned “choice” and the consequences of their home becoming an abortion clinic.

Isn’t it tragically ironic that President Obama recently spent so much political capital, time and effort to threaten Syria for their alleged use of chemical weapons on innocent men, women and children?

Yet here in the United States, our President thinks it’s perfectly acceptable to legalize chemical warfare attacks on our families. These deadly chemicals traumatize parents, desecrate the marital bed and family home, and kill innocent little children.

Isn’t it ironic...or is it criminal?

Isn’t it time to Recall Abortion?