I had an abortion because I wanted to hide my sexual activity from my mother.  She was so proud of her virginity before marriage. Though I waited until 18, I didn’t measure up to that.

During the abortion procedure, I remember screaming in my head with pain thinking, “she lied to me!” A woman behind a desk had told me it was “just a blob of tissue”, and most girls just feel a pinch. She gestured on her arm like it was nothing. Immediately after the abortion, even though hardly ready to leave the table, they needed it for someone else. I walked gingerly and they placed me on a cot to rest. I felt an incredible loss; a piece of me was missing. I wasn’t the same, suddenly severely depressed.

As time went on, I kept wanting to share my feelings with people I trusted. My friends didn’t listen. I heard, “it’s done. It’s in the past. Put it behind you and move on.” I turned to drugs and alcohol to numb my emotional pain and then I shoved those feelings down deep, until they came out with bitterness.

Years later, I finally found hope through a healing program called Forgiven and Set Free. Together, in a small group with five other women who met weekly, in a safe and confidential environment, I was finally freed to grieve and bestow dignity to my unborn child. My life changed dramatically. 

Now, I love to help women who are hurting to find healing.

That’s why I am Silent No More.