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Healing the Shockwaves of Abortion


Do You Regret Your Abortion or Your Lost Fatherhood? By filling in the form below you can add your expression of regret to our list. All information remains confidential and is presented anonymously

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San Diego, CA
United States
Patti Smith and Carol Marie Siedenburg
Lost Motherhood
After struggling emotionally, physically, and spiritually for decades after their abortions, Patti and Carol Marie were able to receive forgiveness from their abortions, and they want others to know that they can find healing, too.
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Welcome to Silent No More Awareness in San Diego! We serve as the Regional Coordinators for the Riverside, Orange, San Diego, and Imperial counties.  

Patti: I have had two abortions, one in the early 70’s, and one in the early 80’s.  I was not informed of the emotional consequences of my actions; in fact, I was never counseled at all.  Like many of us, I was told it was just “tissue”, and that, after the procedure, it would be over and forgotten.

I never did forget, and the shame and guilt drove me deeper into alcoholism and promiscuity.  I also had a tubal ligation at the age of 30, which I now know was self-punishment, as I thought I didn’t deserve to be a mother.

I have been sober since 1997 and thought I had beat the demons, but something was still haunting me.  I didn’t know what that was until I heard a woman speak at a church seminar about her abortion and how it affected her and how she was healed through Rachel’s Hope.  I felt like she was talking directly to me and I signed up for a retreat.  I found out what was haunting me was the shame and guilt of my abortions.   I was finally able to accept God’s mercy and forgiveness and was also able to forgive myself.

The reason I’m involved in Silent No More is because I want post-abortive women to know they don’t have to suffer in silence and secrecy – with healing there is hope and happiness.   I am speaking out because I don’t want any more women suffer the spiritual, emotional and physical consequences of abortion.  
Silent No More San Diego has the following goals:

• Seek to raise public awareness about the emotional, physical and spiritual consequences of abortion through education, testimonies, and public witness.

• Reach out and provide information to those seeking help and healing after an abortion…Help is available from post-abortion counseling and after-care programs throughout our state!

• Invite post-abortive women and men to share personal testimonies about the harm and negative consequences abortion have caused them, their families and their relationships. Most importantly to share healing and hope to those who have experienced abortion to help others avoid the pain and suffering of abortion.

• Hold gathering(s) in San Diego.

It is our sincere desire to help those still suffering from the consequences of abortion and to let them know that they are not alone. No longer does anyone need to suffer alone in silence and shame.

Here is a list of my published devotionals:

Check out my blog here:

Carol Marie:  Why don’t they tell you that you don’t simply forget your abortion, that it’s nothing at all like having your tonsils out or removing wisdom teeth?   If you’re ready for healing or you’ve already gone through healing and now you’re ready to speak out, I’d love to hear from you.

It took me 30 years before I was willing to admit that my abortion was wrong.   In the meantime, I got angry anytime anyone brought up the subject. Happily, I’ve put that anger behind me now, and I know I’m on the road to true healing.   I’ve found that speaking out has freed me from the fear of someone finding out my secret. I’ve also been pleasantly surprised at how wonderful people have been when I’ve told them that I had an abortion and that I regret my “choice”.  

I started getting involved in the pro-life movement before I was ready to talk about my past, and I developed a number of close relationships with people who have never been on the pro-choice side of the aisle.   It has been helpful for me to try to help them understand how a person can get turned around on this issue. Before I told anyone that I am post abortive, I had the opportunity to see some of my friends first express anger at women who choose abortion, and I then watched as, through the course of a 40 Days for Life campaign, they grew to have deep compassion of the pain felt by these same young women.

It was then heartening to know that not a single pro-life friend has turned his or her back on me because of my sharing my testimony, rather they have called me brave.   I know that courage has little to do with my sharing my story, it is a poison that I have had to release, before it rotted the very core of my being.

I have family members who are still strongly pro-choice and this saddens me, but I pray that with time, they too can come to appreciate that this choice did much harm to me and to the many others who have been sold the lies peddled by Planned Parenthood.
Please, feel free to call me and we can talk about what your abortion has meant to you and where you are in your healing process. 

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