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Healing the Shockwaves of Abortion


Do You Regret Your Abortion or Your Lost Fatherhood? By filling in the form below you can add your expression of regret to our list. All information remains confidential and is presented anonymously

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Raining Inside
Pilar Gutierrez
United States

My Silent No More story began 30 years ago today on a rainy day in San Francisco. On a day just like today, December 3rd 1978, I was waiting for the bus on my way back home from USF hospital. I had just made an appointment to have an abortion.

I had been doing a Masters degree in the USA for over a year and I was about to finish it and go back to Spain. But just a couple of weeks before leaving I realized that I was pregnant. My boyfriend had just left for Brazil (his country) where his mother had just died and everything had suddenly turned upside down. With the ignorance of my 24 years and the bad advice from all my friends, plus the assurance from the doctor that there was nothing to it, I was ready to fall into the trap. BUT, there was Someone else in the story who had yet to make a stand. Waiting for the bus, all alone on a cold December day, it started to rain and I, too, started to rain inside. I cried and cried, sooo deep and sorrowful as never before. I felt I was mourning for a dead one… and the dead one was ME! At that moment I felt, in advance, what I have later come to know as Post-abortion Syndrome. I had a glimpse of “the day after” a day before. An amazing Grace! I later knew that my mother had two whole nun’s convents praying for me! (she sensed I was getting into trouble way across the ocean). I now have a beautiful 29-year-old daughter who has given me a new lease on life.

Years after, in 1992, by sheer “chance” (Providence, that is) I was led into the prolife battle, at a time when the Spanish government was trying to legalize it. They couldn’t. A famous writer-friend helped me stop them at my first public event. Ever since, Life has kept calling me to the front lines of the war against abortion. Sixteen years later Death has lost three battles and we´re gaining ground. In the meantime, in 2003, my daughter and I created the first website in Spanish on PAS research and on-line therapy, www.nomassilencio.com (I´m a psychologist, by the way). Hundreds of women (and men) have experienced the Mercy of God through it. God had it all figured out that day, 30 years ago, on that rainy street in San Francisco.


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