Jeannie, Texas: A botched abortion left Jeannie unable to have more children and living a life of constant pain.
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In February 2000, I found out I was pregnant. Because my life was very complicated, I chose to have an abortion. I was about ten weeks along. When I went into the clinic I was told I would be first that day. There were many other girls there, some were teenagers with what seemed to be their mothers. It was a very sad place. I was called back to sign papers with a nurse who did not say much to me and extended none of the kindness or compassion that one would expect from a nurse. She never even looked up at me. I was not told of complications or asked if it was what I wanted. I remember I kept waiting for someone to ask me that question so I could say, “NO way." The person I was with that day told me that this was the only way, the only fair thing to do for the other people in my life.

I was taken back to a room for an ultrasound that I was not allowed to see. After the ultrasound was done, I was sent to a clinic room where the abortion was to take place. The doctor came in after I was put on the exam table. He told me to lay back, be very still, and it would all be over soon. I asked him about medicine for the pain.  He said that he was not going to give me pain meds because I would be too sleepy and not want to leave. I was afraid. The doctor started giving me injections in my cervix and then began to pry it open before it was numb. I told him to stop, but he told me to shut up or I would scare away his other patients. I began to cry from the pain. After the abortion the doctor did not say a word and everyone left the room. I knew at that point that not only what was growing inside of me had died but also with it a part of who I was.

I went home that day in a lot of pain and bleeding. Two weeks later I was in even more pain, running fever, and passing blood clots. I called the abortion clinic and told them how I was feeling; they said it was normal.  I went on the internet trying to find answers to my pain. I came across a pro-life site that had a picture of a ten week old fetus’s feet. I had no idea that my baby had developed feet. That was when the truth of what I had done hit me.

A week later I walked into my doctor’s office with a high fever, dizziness, and horrible pain. My doctor did an exam and ultrasound that day and found that parts of my baby were still inside of me and had caused a massive infection. I had to go in the hospital for IV antibiotics and a D&C.

I spent the next two years in and out of the hospital. I lived in constant pain. Because the infection in my uterus had not been found in time it had gone deeply into my uterus causing me to live on constant antibiotics and pain management. I had many surgeries to clean the lining of my uterus and to cut nerves to my spinal cord to reduce the pain. Nothing worked. I had nightmares of the abortion and began taking sleeping pills. I lost my job being in and out of the hospital so much. I stopped eating; I stopped living. My doctor said he did not want to do a hysterectomy because I was only 26. But in August 2004 I told my doctor that I wanted the hysterectomy.  I could not take the pain any longer; I wanted my life back.

The surgery did not cure me and the doctors finally determined that I have a bladder condition that causes pain. I became addicted to pain meds and many times I took too many pills to escape the emotional and physical pain of my choice.  I just didn’t care anymore.

In Feb. 2006 I began a new relationship with God and entered Christian counseling.  I have given up the pain meds though I still live in constant pain.  I prefer the pain to the fog caused by the medicine. My only regret is that I am unable to share the gift of a child with my husband. So I have asked God to use me as a tool to help others find the freedom I have found in Him.