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Healing the Shockwaves of Abortion


Do You Regret Your Abortion or Your Lost Fatherhood? By filling in the form below you can add your expression of regret to our list. All information remains confidential and is presented anonymously

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Julia's 2012 March for Life Testimony
Julia Holcomb
Texas, United States

It is sobering to stand before you and confess the most serious sin I ever committed. When I was sixteen years old, I met Steven Tyler at a rock concert in Portland, Oregon. We began a three year relationship that ended in a horrific abortion. I was at least five months pregnant and Steven coerced me into undergoing a saline abortion while I was in a hospital recovering from a fire that nearly claimed my life. Originally he had asked me to marry him.

I was happy and excited to have my baby. Then he approached me in while I was in the hospital and said I needed to have an abortion. At first I resisted him but after several hours I agreed to the abortion in fear after he threatened to send me away. I was forced to choose between Steven and my baby and I made the wrong choice. He said everything would be fine if I would agree to the abortion. The doctor prepared me for the abortion by telling me to "hold very still or you could be killed or injured". Before I could ask what he meant he had stabbed my stomach with a needle and began injecting the saline. I remember gasping in shock and disbelief and wondering how had I ended up in this house of horrors.  Nothing was ever the same between Steven and I after that terrible day. I could never look at him again without remembering that we had aborted our baby.

Within a year I returned home a broken spirit filled with a sense of grief and loss. I felt as though a part of me had died on the day my baby's life was taken in that abortion. I had terrible nightmares that would wake me up reliving the abortion. After attending a church retreat I turned to God for healing and the courage to try to rebuild my life. I was baptized and confessed my abortion to God, asking for his mercy and forgiveness. I attended a Rachel's Vineyard retreat where I experienced God's healing grace and the hope of his mercy.

To a woman who has had an abortion I would like to say that no matter how far we have fallen from grace, God's mercy is greater than our worst sin.

To a woman who is considering an abortion I would say, stop...think again...and choose life. Abortion is never the answer. Abortion makes everything worse. I will grieve the loss of my son Michael every day of my life. I wish I could go back and choose life for him. I wish I could have watched him grow to be the man God created him to be.

I cannot go back... but I can be Silent No More about the sincere regret I feel for my abortion. I cannot go back...but I can embrace life today and declare that my role as a mother to my seven children is the greatest gift God has ever given me. I cannot go back... but I can be a voice today, inviting those who have been wounded by abortion to turn to God with their whole heart seeking his forgiveness and healing.

I invite you to stand with us as we March for Life and work to protect the baby in the womb today.

With God's grace I intend to go forward Silent No More!


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