I had an abortion because I was twenty-two and in college, unmarried, in a carefree lifestyle when I became pregnant.  I was scared and too ashamed to tell my parents. I sought the advice of a friend who had an abortion previously and she told me where to go for help.  I was in panic mode and trusted the information, or lack thereof, given to me that this was simply a blob of tissue and the procedure was quick and simple and my life could return to normal and no one needed to know.

I don't remember a lot of the details in regards to the procedure other than feeling very alone, the coldness of the room as well as from the Dr (made no introductions and no eye contact).  The only other thing I remember is the sound of the machine and extreme cramping, and tears streaming down my face.

Afterwards, I just wanted to get out of there and go home and forget this ever happened to me.   After all, they told me I could.  That was one of many lies I was told and believed at the time.  Well fortunately I didn't suffer any physical complications that I know of, but emotionally is another story.  I could not forget no matter how much pot I smoked (and I smoked a lot).  My life continued to be lived in a manner of unworthiness.  By feeling unworthy of a husband and a family, my relationships were a heap of poor choices.

Then by the grace of God, who I did not yet have a relationship with, God brought my husband to be in my life.  I never believed a man like him could ever love me.  That was the beginning of my life turning around.   We married a year and a half later when I was 39 years old.  As time passed, we were not church- goers, God led me to church through a stray dog (another story in itself).   From there at a woman's conference I learned about post abortion recovery and quickly signed up.  Again through God's amazing grace, mercy and love, I've been forgiven and set free and now volunteer one day a week at a crisis pregnancy center as a lay counselor and facilitate abortion recovery Bible studies.  It is truly an honor to serve God in this way as He continues to heal my heart and give my baby's life a purpose in helping others.   I'm committed to being silent no more and to testifying to the Truth to what abortion is and what it is not and praising God all the way, as far as He will take me.