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Healing the Shockwaves of Abortion


Do You Regret Your Abortion or Your Lost Fatherhood? By filling in the form below you can add your expression of regret to our list. All information remains confidential and is presented anonymously

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Please Forgive Us
Illinois, United States

My life changed drastically, once again, about two years ago. My wife told me that she was pregnant. With the four kids growing up, we looked forward to the day when we could spend time together.

We were devastated. Shocked and upset. At the age of 44, I did not want to change diapers and warm bottles again. My wife was heartsick. The pain and energy to have another child is beyond any man's comprehension.

We discussed abortion. We have very mixed emotions about abortion. For weeks, we tugged at the issue. We should. We cannot. We need to. What about the other kids? What about the expenses? What about child care? We're married. We're overwhelmed.

What an agonizing decision and painful road to venture. It was not that clear-cut for us. I called Planned Parenthood to get information. Still, we were undecided. Again, back and forth. One day I said, "Honey, we need to make a decision. We need to make a decision and never look back." Somewhere deep, deep down inside we knew we were in conflict because the moral law written in our hearts knew differently.

A few days later she called me and said she could not have an abortion. It is not our decision, she said. We cannot destroy the life of a child for reasons of economics and inconvenience. It is not the baby's fault. We cannot end this pregnancy because it is a burden on us. It is just simply wrong. The child has a right to be born. I said OK.

The time came to have the child. It was a beautiful little girl. As the weeks and the months went by, I sat with this gorgeous blue-eyed blond-haired little girl grasping at life. To eat. To sneeze with food in her mouth. To grab her blanket and dig her face into it when she's tired. Rubbing her eyes when she is sleepy. Peeking around the corner of her crib when I am coming up the stairs. Pulling on my pant legs when she wants me to pick her up. A tear running down her cheek when she stumbles while trying to walk. Patting me on the back when she is content.

We cannot help but to look back and examine what we had almost done. I am now convinced that abortion is not a choice and should have never been. Yes, it is hard to manage all this but it is not our decision as human beings to destroy the life a child. And that fetus is a child. I am now convinced that this is an evil choice that has been marketed upon society by our politicians and the marketing department over at Planned Parenthood and that they have fostered this notion that this blob of tissue is not life. It is not about choice to them; it is about money.

Every time I look into the eyes of my little girl we feel a surge of guilt that we both are having a very, very difficult time dealing with, guilt that we had the power to decide if this child lives or not. Neither of us can envision life without her.

I also asked those who support abortion to explain to us how we can handle this guilt because they are the ones who had offered this choice. How do you suggest that those who have gone down this road deal with this sort of condemnation?

Supporters of abortion have wreaked havoc on the emotions of society and to us it seems that it is against the law of nature for a female to abort its offspring.

I am not writing this for a political statement but as a letter to all those who may be faced with this decision. Let your heart guide you. Children are so precious and are the shining light of our future.

By the grace of God may we be forgiven for a wrong that we almost committed.

Please forgive us, Jennifer. Your mother and I dearly love you.


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