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Testimonies
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Hiding the Shame
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Trina
New Mexico,
United States
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I became a single mother at 17. I had no emotional or financial support from family or the father. It was the seventies, hard to make ends meet. Life for my son was chaotic, unsettled. When I became pregnant three years later, I was terrified. I was without a place of my own and struggling. I did not believe I could handle another child as I was already failing the first.
I immediately regretted the abortion. It was too easy. No one talked to me about what I was doing. The clinic was seedy and cold. If one person had made eye contact or offered options, a life may have been spared.
I had nightmares, heavy guilt, and self-hatred for a very long time. I have hidden the shame of it from almost everyone. It has only been recently, 36 years later, that I have been able to believe that I am worthy of God's forgiveness and that I have faith enough to forgive myself.
It still hurts, there is still sadness. Abortion is never the answer.
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