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Healing the Shockwaves of Abortion
 

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Do You Regret Your Abortion or Your Lost Fatherhood? By filling in the form below you can add your expression of regret to our list. All information remains confidential and is presented anonymously


 
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Women and Children Deserve Better
Cynthia
Ohio, United States

I am a 50 year old black woman with a professional degree. 

I had my first abortion at 20, because I did not want another child with the man I was involved with.  I thought nothing of it either before or after.  I later ended that relationship and married another man.  A year into our marriage I became pregnant and he abandoned me.  I seriously thought about aborting that pregnancy, but I just could not bring myself to do it.  In my turmoil I called a nonprofit I found in the phone book that I thought would counsel and support me through the abortion.  Instead, they advised me that if I wanted to keep my baby they would help me.  I did keep that baby and those people did help me with counseling, maternity clothes, and baby stuff.  I thank God for that nonprofit because I could not imagine my life without that child.

Later, I reconciled with my husband and became pregnant several more times, largely because of my irresponsibility with birth control.  I terminated those pregnancies because I did not want more children with that man.  I thought NOTHING of it because I had always believed that abortion was just a procedure with no consequence.  My last abortion was in 2004. 

A few years ago, during the time that John Roberts was being put forth for the Supreme Court, I remember reading an article about his wife.  She was a partner at a large law firm and is a conservative feminist.  I don't remember the context, but I remember her saying that she wanted to work to reduce the number of abortions because young women deserved better.  I didn't know what she meant then but I do now.  I deserved better and my unborn children did, too.  I just didn't know better.  Like many black women I believed that abortion is an acceptable method of birth control. 

I am so sorry about what I have done.  I hope that God can forgive me, and I can forgive myself.  I am silent no more because I need to atone for killing my own children.  I always talk about how, during slavery days, black women were not allowed to keep their children.  The difference today is that it seems like we don't want to. 

I hope my words can help one woman make a different choice so she doesn't end up feeling like I do today.


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