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Healing the Shockwaves of Abortion
 

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Do You Regret Your Abortion or Your Lost Fatherhood? By filling in the form below you can add your expression of regret to our list. All information remains confidential and is presented anonymously

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Beauty from Ashes
Lisa
New Jersey, United States

I was pregnant at the age of 19, I had two sons by the age of 21.  I was married to my high school sweetheart but that ended due to partying and ignorance of youth.  I met a man in Promised Land, PA, starting dating, and soon found myself pregnant again.  But this time I was encouraged to have an abortion as I was in the middle of a custody battle and it would not look right if I showed up pregnant. 

When I arrived at the clinic, there were people holding up signs and calling me names. How I wish one of them would have hugged me and spoke to me about the effects of the choice I was about to make.  I imagine the outcome would have been different.   I remember the nurse asking me how far along I was.  I thought I was six weeks.  She did the math and said, "No, I think you are 12.”  I stood up to leave, and she grabbed my arm and said "No, no, you are only six.” I felt that I had been deceived; I wish I had run from that building.  I had to forgive her but, as I type this, it hurts my heart, the lying that is involved.  This is the furthest thing from a quick fix.  This "quick fix" stole the next ten years of my life.

I suffered from anxiety, guilt, depression, and shame to say the least.  I believed there was no hope, but there is hope.  The Lord has shown HIS love, mercy, and forgiveness in my life.  My two sons are grown men.  I have been blessed with two daughters, and I am married to that man I met in the Promised Land!  All four kids know my story, and they know they can come to me if they find themselves in a place where they are faced with such a choice. 

As in Isaiah 61 He has made beauty from ashes, He has restored my life.  For ten years I could not say the word abortion but now, by the Grace of God, I am free and I will be silent no more!  I will always regret my choice, but I now look forward to the day when I can hold my baby in heaven.

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