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Testimonies
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Finding Redemption
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Jody
Georgia,
United States
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Good afternoon. My name is Jody. I am from Atlanta, Georgia. I would like to dedicate my testimony to all of our military and veterans who have lost children to the devastation of abortion. I am one of you. I want to send you a message of hope and healing.
I was a 21 year lieutenant in the U.S. Army. I had my life and military career ahead of me. However, a date gone wrong would change that. Shortly after that I arrived at a new duty station and discovered I was pregnant. I didn’t know anyone when I got there. I was alone, pregnant, and scared. The decision I made would change my life forever. I confided in another soldier who went with me to Tucson to get an abortion.
I was numb when I walked into the doctor’s office. He and nurse tried to explain the procedure, but I was in such a state of confusion that I did not hear a word they said. I was awake during the abortion. The pain and pressure were agonizing. When it was over, I went back to the hotel, curled up into a fetal position and wept. I knew what I had done was wrong. I tried to justify it. “I was starting a new career and a baby did not fit into those plans. I was not married and could not raise a child alone.” I shoved it deep down inside of me. I guarded my secret with a firm grip.
Shortly after that, I met and married another Army officer. I never did make a career out of the military. I had lost all self esteem and any desire to excel at my job. My mission as a soldier, officer, and leader was adversely affected by that abortion. I suffered from depression, anxiety, panic attacks, lack of self esteem and a deep sense of loss and sadness. I isolated myself for fear that someone might find out my secret.
We eventually had three children. I became a Supermom, a perfectionist, an over-protective parent and a constant worrier. Subconsciously, I was trying to gain control of something I had lost control of when I had my abortion. I tried to redeem myself for something only Christ could redeem me from.
Twenty years after the abortion, I hit a wall. In 2000, through prayer and guidance from the Holy Spirit I was led to a ministry in Atlanta called PATH (Post Abortion Treatment and Healing) where I became involved in a post abortion Bible study and the Rachel’s Vineyard retreat. The healing was beyond words and so vital to helping restore what was lost before the abortion. The choice I made cannot be reversed. However, the effects of that choice can be changed. What we do with our past experience can affect the lives of so many others in the future. That is why I am Silent no More. Thank you and God Bless America.
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