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Healing the Shockwaves of Abortion
 

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Do You Regret Your Abortion or Your Lost Fatherhood? By filling in the form below you can add your expression of regret to our list. All information remains confidential and is presented anonymously


 
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The Painful Decision
Deanne
California, United States

I was 15 years old when I had an abortion. All my friends were having sex, and I thought I should try it. I instantly knew it was a mistake.  I asked my boyfriend to stop and, without full penetration, I became pregnant. That experience immediately caused me to break up with my boyfriend. When I became pregnant he said he would be in touch and, of course, never was. Instead, he told others, and one even ridiculed me in a class during high school. I had such shame.

I came from a background of emotional and physical abuse from my father. I knew I would be greatly punished for being pregnant. I felt I had no other options and none were suggested at the clinic I went to. A friend and her boyfriend drove me. I wept the entire way home, and I knew then it was a mistake. It led to a period of promiscuity. I had low self-worth, all the while putting on a facade of strength.

When I married my husband I told him of this situation and that I felt I needed to speak of it. He didn't want me to, probably because he did not want people to know. I was then only able to have one child, and I thought that was further punishment.  All this time I felt I was not worthy of a relationship with God because of my great sin.

But God had another plan and began to tug on my heart about eight years ago. I confessed this great sin multiple times to Him and, once it was placed on my heart that I would see my child again and that we would know each other, that gave me great peace.

In the past two years I have begun to share my experience with people without shame. Just this week I confessed this sin to a priest face to face, and he suggested I look into Silent No More. My child would have been 37 this August, the same month that will make me grandmother for the first time, and I will not be silent any more in hopes that I can prevent someone else from making the painful decision I did so many years ago.

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