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Healing the Shockwaves of Abortion


Do You Regret Your Abortion or Your Lost Fatherhood? By filling in the form below you can add your expression of regret to our list. All information remains confidential and is presented anonymously

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I was very affected by the presence of other women and men who had experienced abortions, and felt validated when they expressed their own pain.




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I Am Strong
Pennsylvania, United States

I had an abortion because the man that impregnated me was a friend; however, he was of color, and my family was racist. Repeatedly, I was told that if I delivered my child they were going to hang the baby along with the father in the backyard, and I was disowned. That was said from my mother, step dad, maternal grandparents, and also my dad. When I called my dad to tell him that I used my student loan money ($500) and scheduled my abortion all I got in return was, “Good.” 

I was in a dark place after my surgical removal.  I turned to drugs and alcohol with my student loan money. I dropped out of college and spent all my money.  I started living in my car and giving myself sponge baths in the sink of my job’s bathroom at Dollar General. 

After being locked up for a possession charge, I started staying with a friend who changed my view on parties and drugs. I got clean and started running. Although I had gone through some drastic relationship breakups and moved far away from home, I thought I was living the life I always wanted. 

After finding out I was pregnant, going to my OBGYN, and being told that "technically this is my second pregnancy" is when I started feeling my guilt again, but instead of being weak and turning to drugs I turned to God, counseling, and only the best education for myself and for my unborn child. 

The relationship with the father turned extremely ugly, worse than I have ever had. I had to file a protection order, but I made some bold decisions to still stay within his area instead of living back with home.   Because, once my daughter was born, I thought that he could finally grow up and earn my trust and gain a relationship with our daughter. In the meantime my daughter and I live with my best friend/boyfriend with his two younger children.  We are safe, happy, healthy, and I am being the best mother I could have ever imagined. 

Yes, I regret the decisions I made, especially after being told that my mother and my grandmother both have had abortions before they had their children. I still don't wish to abort a life god created. I believe deep down, if I had my baby, my life would have been rough.  But I am strong and I would have made it, just like I am now, and that's why I am silent no more!


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