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Healing the Shockwaves of Abortion


Do You Regret Your Abortion or Your Lost Fatherhood? By filling in the form below you can add your expression of regret to our list. All information remains confidential and is presented anonymously

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Let God Take Control
Louisiana, United States

As a RN, with my ex-husband who is a surgeon, I made the decision to abort, upon the diagnosis of anencephaly.  

We arrived at UT Medical Center for my appointment with the high risk OBGYN for my amniocentesis.  I was 36 or 37 years old at the time and considered high risk due to my age.  During the ultrasound, I was asked repeatedly about my prior ultrasounds.  As a RN, I knew there was a reason for the techs repeated questioning.  During the ultrasound, the tech pointed out the heart which was beating.  I questioned, "If that's the heart in the thorax, where is the head?"  I saw just a tiny circle on top of the thorax, no well-formed head. She stated she needed to get her doctor.  Upon hearing the diagnosis of anencephaly, my ex-husband and I stayed calm and made the appropriate medical decision, or so I thought. 

At the time it felt like the right decision, and I was "fine" until two months later when I bottomed out emotionally.  I was placed on medication to help get me through the crisis.  My OBGYN told me I was having the reaction I should have had two months prior.  As a former ICU and trauma nurse I always stayed calm during a medical emergency.  Get through the crisis, and you can fall apart later.  Looking back I would do it all differently.  I would not have the abortion, instead would have relied on prayer and let God take control.   


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