I am currently disabled due to chronic kidney transplant and renal disease. I was diagnosed with the disease lupus nephritis since 1989, a year after high school. I assumed that I couldn't have children and, when I found out, I was overjoyed. My ex wasn't overjoyed. That moment crushed my dream of ever having children. I still think about my child till this day. I had to forgive, but I haven't forgotten. My child would have been 23 years old.
I am a follower of Jesus Christ and His atonement has freed me from bondage of sin, shame, and guilt. I must forgive others because if not, God will not forgive you. It takes time and patience to heal from brokenness. We are not perfect; however, we are close to the finishing race. I found help and forgiveness through God's word and support from my family and friends. I am still childless at the moment. I am a divorcee, and I am enjoying my single life right now. Whatever God's will for my life regarding marriage and children, He will make the way.
I am no longer silent. I am finally free from shame. God is healing this part of my past. He is still in control of our lives in spite of trials and tribulations. My testimony is here to help someone else to heal, too.