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Healing the Shockwaves of Abortion


Do You Regret Your Abortion or Your Lost Fatherhood? By filling in the form below you can add your expression of regret to our list. All information remains confidential and is presented anonymously

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A Better Choice
Utah, United States

I had multiple abortions because I was afraid of what would happen if my parents and family found out and because I selfishly did not want to forego my schooling in order to raise a child with no support, emotionally or financially. 

My experiences at the clinic; Planned Parenthood was efficient and impersonal. No one talked about alternatives or gave other resources. It was an empty and cold experience, sort of a warehouse of whitewashed death. I was both relieved and depressed. Grieving is what it felt like and being numb. I didn't want to focus on the experience, and I wanted to quickly forget it. 

The regret and pain, the hauntings of what I had done would arrive in the form of nightmares, seeing my unborn children up in heaven asking, "Why? Mommy!?”  I felt anguish and terrible guilt. This did not occur until I went into treatment for my alcohol addiction. I had spent many years in self-destructive behaviors, both with alcohol and promiscuity, both to try and "forget" and because I felt like I didn't deserve to be happy, much less live. I felt God surely hated me and that I was doomed. 

I found both forgiveness and healing more than 30 years later, through an online ministry dealing specifically with abortion and sexual abuse, which I had also experienced in both childhood as a pre-teen and then as an adult. I have been set free from this burden, through this Christ-centered program. It has healed my heart and, through a 10 week long online study, I have faced the accountability of my actions and the grace that only God can provide to forgive me. 

I cannot change what happened but I can share about it and speak out, in the hopes that perhaps one woman out there will make a different, wiser, better choice, a life giving rather than a life taking choice. I pray that that will be the case!


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