I graduated from high school in 1972. All I knew about abortion was that it became legal in 1973. I had never heard any lessons on the subject, either in church or at home, and I believed the lie that society told us at the time.
In 1978 I was married with a 2-year-old daughter when I became pregnant with our 2nd baby. My husband was abusive, and we fought often...I had a lot of bruises. I told my mother about the fighting and that I was pregnant. She believed that she was helping me when she took me to get the abortion. To be clear, I am not blaming my mother for my abortion. It was a rushed decision that I made. I had doubts, but I trusted my mother's instincts as she drove me to the doctor's office that day. Looking back, neither of us had any wisdom or understanding about the horror of abortion. After the procedure, the doctor commented that I was farther along in the pregnancy than I thought. (Forty years later and I'm still haunted by these words). Mom and I left the doctor's office, and nothing could have prepared me for the feeling that I experienced afterward when I got home. I have never felt so hollow. So utterly and completely EMPTY.
I got pregnant again about three months later. We had a son in 1979. I stayed in the abusive marriage. In 1988, I became pregnant with our 3rd child. By this time my husband was having an affair and had moved in with his girlfriend. I was 33, a stay at home mom with an 11-year-old and an 8-year-old, and I was expecting a baby. I had no job, no family except my mother, and no way to support my children. We lost our home. How could I take care of two kids with no job, let alone three?
I had every reason to get another abortion. I had ONE reason not to---and that was because, by then, I knew that abortion was wrong. I learned about abortion the hard way. I'd give my life to go back to that moment in 1978 and change what I did. I have begged God to forgive me. God gave me the most wonderful gift, though. Our third child is 30 years old, and he brought us joy at a dark time in our lives, proving that God will bless us if we trust Him and live as best we can in His will.
I don't talk a lot about my abortion, and I am in a lot of pain today, since abortion is in the news. I'm haunted by the memory of what I did, but if I can stop one woman from believing the lie—that it's a "choice" instead of a CHILD—then I will shout my story to the rooftops. If I can save even one baby, then I WILL BE SILENT NO MORE.