I was estranged from my faith and my church. I didn't go to Mass anymore and led a wild life of drugs and drinking. When I got pregnant, I was happy, but the father of the child, who I was living with, was decidedly not happy. He made me feel like I was trying to entrap him. So, in desperation, I committed the worse sin possible and had an abortion.
I lied about how far along I was and, the day after Christmas, I had the abortion. They didn't counsel me. All they said was, "Do you want to do this?" They gave me a form to sign and said to come back in two days, as this was Christmas time. I was unhappy for so many years and wouldn't admit to myself that that was the reason.
I struggled with this for years, until I was about 30. I heard the call from God and went back to the Church to seek forgiveness. I didn't really know it was possible, but I went to confession and received forgiveness.
This opened a whole new world to me. I went back to the Latin Mass and, eventually, my husband joined me. My prayers went to the Blessed Mother and St. Teresa of the Little Flower to give me patience and grace to live without having children.
I got pregnant after seven years and named my daughter Marie Teresa, for my prayers had been answered in abundance. She had many medical problems, because she was born three months early. But we prayed, and others prayed, and now she's perfect, healthy, and 34 years old.
It was a long road, but I am truly blessed.