I was in college: I had a crisis pregnancy; I wanted to finish college; I chose to have an abortion.

I was told that it was a “simple procedure” and I that “I could get on with my life”.

I was not prepared with what happened to me in the back room. The experience of the abortion was not simple, it was painful and freighting I never wanted to think about it again. I just wanted to “get on with my life” like they said I would. 

AFTER THE ABORTION: I used alcohol to make myself feel better and tried to forget the experience. I was no longer able to concentrate; I ended up dropping out of college. I did not “get on with my life” like they said I would….I struggled with guilt, shame, and self hate for decades.

It was 25 years later before I finally sought help for my guilt and shame and  I attended a Retreat for after abortion healing in San Diego. At this retreat I experienced Gods love and mercy.  I was able to share my secret with other women who had similar stories like mine. I was finally able to let go of the feelings of guilt, shame, and self hate that I carried for decades.

At the retreat I was able to give honor and dignity to my child. My “simple procedure” has a name her name is Rebecca and she is my daughter and I am her Mom. I wear her birthstone on my finger.

Abortion did not help me; it hurt me; I did not get on with my life like they said I would. I suffered with flashbacks and triggers that reminded me of the abortion and what I had done.

They tell you that abortion is a simple procedure and that you can get on with your life. Well, you do momentarily, but you spend your whole life trying to forget it.  Woman deserve better! That’s why I am silent no more!