I was 26 years old. My boyfriend and I had been together for 7 years.  We should have been married, but we were not.

I felt pressured to have the abortion. My boyfriend was becoming an alcoholic.  I was afraid. If I had to do this over, I would have left and had my baby.  I did not have an ultrasound.  That is huge for making a decision.  I did not realize the extent to which my baby had grown inside me.  My parents were going through a messy divorce.  I felt like I really did not have anyone to turn to. 

I had the abortion and 7 years later I became pregnant again- same boyfriend.  I did not want to marry him at this point.  The night before I left my boyfriend, I accepted Jesus Christ as my savior.  I called my mom and stepdad- they came and got me and my 10-month old baby.  My life began.  I will always miss my baby.  I have been through the "Surrendering the Secret" program and feel that it did help me to heal.  

I have volunteered at pregnancy centers and have given this to God.  However, the pain will always be there.  Always.  My baby that is in heaven is Jedeiah Luke.  I will see him again.  I will tell you that I am silent no more because I want you to know that it was a wrong decision to have an abortion. There are good alternatives.  Alternatives that are good and pure and right. Alternatives that will not leave you with a hole in your heart.  I am silent no more.