My name is Koreena. I'm from California and have had 2 abortions. l had my first abortion at 14 and told no one because I was ashamed and scared and didn't know who the father was. I was using drugs and alcohol, and my only thought was I could not raise a child or let anyone find out I was pregnant. 

At my planned parenthood appointment, it seemed abortion was no big deal. I was told it was only tissue removal and did not consider any other options. Within a month after my abortion, I attempted suicide and was admitted to mesa vista rehab. I was ashamed of myself for many reasons and continued to cover it with drug use and alcohol. 

At 17, I chose to get pregnant and gave birth to my precious son, Jade. I was a single mom soon after. Less than 2 years later, I relapsed with drugs and was pregnant again. I chose to have an abortion for the same reasons as the first. I remember the cold room, low light, the box machine next to the exam chair and the sound of the motor and suction from the machine. Again, I believed it was only tissue and Planned Parenthood acted as if it were very routine and they were glad to help me.

I did not have any understanding of life at conception or even consider that I was ending a life. Both times I felt initial relief from the situation, but the shame and guilt ran deep, subconscious. 

At 26, I turned to God for forgiveness and received Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior. Yet, I still lived with depression, anxiety, and suicidal thoughts. I was on antidepressants for nearly 30 years. In 2021, I was invited to Forgiven and Set Free at Pregnancy Care Clinic. For the first time, I acknowledged the lives of my children and realized they were in heaven. I reconciled a lot of pain that I suppressed my whole life and experienced a lot of feelings of guilt and condemnation. In 2023, I knew I needed to work through the study again because I continued to walk in my guilt and shame. 

It was shortly thereafter that I truly received Christ's forgiveness and healing from choosing to kill my children, and His. I know they are with God in heaven, and I will see them one day. I have been healed from depression and anxiety, off antidepressants for years, and my joy has been restored. That is why I am silent, no more.