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EXPRESS YOUR REGRET

Do You Regret Your Abortion or Your Lost Fatherhood? By filling in the form below you can add your expression of regret to our list. All information remains confidential and is presented anonymously

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It provides a safe, public venue to share my healing journey out of depression caused by my abortion many years ago, as well as to stand in solidarity with women and men who share their stories.

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I tried to believe the lie

Scott
Manitoba, Canada

My girlfriend decided to abort our child in approximately June of 1979. I believe she chose the abortion partly because of her age (she was 19 and we were unmarried) and also because of my state of mind (I was a practicing alcoholic). When she went to the Planned Parenthood Abortion Clinic in St. Paul Minnesota I was scared because I did not know what was going to happen. When she came back, I knew what had happened; the life of my child had been taken. The anxiety within me increased as I thought about what we had done and I tried to medicate the unidentified pain through consuming alcohol. This did not work. I eventually left my girlfriend because I could not face her and be reminded about what we had done. I eventually went to a priest and confessed my wrongdoing. (i.e. allowing the abortion she wanted and covering up my wrongdoing).

The emptiness within me seemed to grow, even though I was forgiven. I eventually married someone else and wanted to have a family. Our two children were lost due to miscarriages and I felt I was being punished for killing my first child. I eventually found out that I was learning the lesson that I child is a person, whether a person feels capable of caring for them or not.

I went to Rachel’s Vineyard and found more healing from Jesus.

I tried to believe the lie that a child in the womb was not a person but I could not find healing until I faced the reality that human life begins at conception and any death after that point is the loss of a human life. Once I accepted that I could deal with all of the ramifications of my abortion involvement. I could then begin to deal with the guilt, shame, anger, fear, deception, lying, grief, self-hatred and loss that surrounded that event. I had to face the truth and discovered that when you know the truth, the truth will set you free, and Jesus will forgive. I don’t want others in a difficult situation to believe the lie that a child is not a child at the point of conception and that is why I am Silent No More.

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